How I picture me in my bedroom
How I picture myself in my bedroom

I woke up this morning surrounded by mess.

Clothes on the floor, overflowing boxes stacked by the wall, half packed suitcases everywhere. Who would have thought I owned so much stuff. I’m moving house next week, giving up my little rented flat in Haslemere to move back to Portsmouth to be closer to the clinic. I lay in bed ignoring the mess. If I ignore it maybe it’ll go away.

I’ve always loved a bit of denial and avoidance. Denial had always been one of my favourite places to be. Warm and comfy, I was the queen of ignoring the giant elephant sized issue in the room. However ignoring them never made them go away. In fact elephant issues fester and have a habit of mutating so by the time you finally get round to addressing them they have become nasty, complicated bad boys that have morphed into a monster the size of Belgium.

And the biggest problem?  You never know you’re in denial! Ah the joy of ignorant bliss. However the body is very clever. Issues and emotions which are ignored for a period of time can usually express themselves as a physical health problem. A skin rash, blocked digestion, sleep deprivation,  hearing problems, the list is endless. Only when I faced my issues did my long term health problems improve. Now if I slip into denial my body usually lets me know – a creek, a pain, a stomach ache. And I listen. I’m now very good at tackling those elephants before they morph. Shame I can’t say the same for messy flats. I’m still really happy to ignore them for ages.

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